urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:desconectado desconectado desconectado 2006-07-31T03:38:28Z urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:desconectado:6845 2006-07-31T03:38:28Z 2006-07-31T03:38:28Z Pixies - Hey Nothing pisses me off like this song, but I'm masochistic like that. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:desconectado:6510 2006-07-07T10:13:03Z 2006-07-07T10:13:03Z This is such. A good. Song.<br /><br /><em><font size="1">Regina Spektor - Oedipus Lyrics<br /><br />I'm the king's thirty second son<br />Born to him in thirty second's time<br />Born to him the night still young<br />Born to him with two eyebrows on<br />And that's all I was wearing<br />When I woke up staring at the world<br /><br />My mom had been around the graves of queens<br />But not at all a sex machine<br />She liked to keep her body clean, clean<br />Thought the world to be quite obscene<br />But she retired to her chamber<br />And we remain quite strangers<br /><br />And to see me made her awful sad<br />And to touch me made her awful sad<br />And to see me made her awful<br />And to touch me made her awful<br /><br />I'm the king's thirty second son<br />And all it took was thirty second's time<br />But a spoiled little prince I was not<br />Had a chamber maid and a chamber pot<br />And there's thirty one others just like me<br />There's thirty one others I can be<br /><br />Someimtes I'd stand by the royal wall<br />The sky'd be so big that it broke my soul<br />And i stood on my toes to catch a glimpse<br />Of my mother's eyes and my mother's skin<br />And she retired to her chamber<br />And we remain quite strangers<br /><br />And to see me made her awful sad<br />And to touch me made her awful sad<br />And to see me made her awful<br />And to touch me made her awful<br /><br /><br />And one morning I woke up<br />and I thought Oedipus, Oedipus, Oedipus, Oedipus<br />Then one morning I woke up and I thought Rex, Rex, Rex<br />Then one morning I woke up<br />and I thought Oedipus, Oedipus, Oedipus, Oedipus<br />Thirty two's still a goddamn number<br />Thirty two's still counts<br />Gonna make it count<br />Gonna make it count<br />Gonna oh oh<br /><br />Thirty two's still a goddamn number<br />Thirty two still counts<br />Gonna make it count<br />Gonna make it count<br />Gonna oh oh<br /><br />Long live the king<br />Long live the king<br />Long live the king<br />Long live the king<br />Long live the king<br />Long live the king<br />Long live the king<br />Long live the<br /><br />I'm the king's thirty second son<br />There's thirty one others just like me<br />There's thirty one others on the way<br />There's thirty one others after that<br /><br />Sometimes I stand by the royal gate<br />People screaming love and hate<br />And they scream<br />And they scream<br />And they scream<br />And they scream<br />Long live the king,<br />long live the queen<br /><br />And to see me made her awful sad<br />And to touch me made her awful sad<br />And to see me made her awful<br />And to touch me made her awful<br /><br />And one morning I woke up<br />and I thought Oedipus, Oedipus, Oedipus, Oedipus<br />Then one morning I woke up and I thought Rex, Rex, Rex<br />Then one morning I woke up<br />and I thought Oedipus, Oedipus, Oedipus, Oedipus<br />Thirty two's still a goddamn number<br />Thirty two's still counts<br />Gonna make it count<br />Gonna make it count<br />Gonna oh oh<br /><br />Thirty two's still a goddamn number<br />Thirty two's still a goddamn number<br />Thirty two's still a goddamn number<br />Thirty two's still a goddamn number<br /><br />Thirty two<br />Thirty two<br />Thirty two<br />Thirty two<br />Thirty two<br />Thirty two<br />Thirty two<br /><br />Long live the king<br />Long live the king<br />Long live the king<br />Long live the king<br />Long live the king<br />Long live the king<br />Long live the king<br />Long live the king</font></em> urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:desconectado:6184 2006-07-07T10:00:54Z 2006-07-07T10:00:54Z I am I.<br /><br />A revisitstion to an old saying. Not olde, mind ye, just one that sed to be preent. Used to be present withing my old mind.<br /><br />I'm getting to a closer perception of self. Whoam I? It's not a hard quesion, anmore. It;s sill hard to answerm yeah. It's still hard to figure out. I don't know who or where I am, still.<br /><br />I'm empty. But I'm still getting to soe knowledge. Some wisdon, much more like.<br /><br />Will somebody please look there for me? urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:desconectado:5892 2006-06-23T00:14:46Z 2006-06-23T00:14:46Z I'm obsessed with my mother.<br /><br />I constantly need confirmation that she loves me. I don't think she does.<br /><br />Well, whatever. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:desconectado:5711 2006-06-19T09:32:41Z 2006-06-19T09:32:41Z To write. I don't write, but I want someone to. I want a dhild to say, oh, oh, there is a nutm cracker in love, and the girl is a princess who was a little girl. The love they shared was a love for dancing lightly. They traded shards of glitter in the night and under the tent.<br /><br />What am I even talking about? I have a need for innocence in the greatest degree. I need a heavenly something to feel like something in its bubbles of greatest blues and whites. Can you snuggle into white as a thing? Blue, dark blue, even?<br /><br />Something, something. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:desconectado:5542 2006-06-19T09:17:51Z 2006-06-19T09:17:51Z HIM - Join Me HEY BITCHES.<br /><br />God, I need someone. Somebody to understand me. I need a friend. A gal. Anything as long as it's a somebody who understands me. It's strange really, to think there could be someone out there who fits the description. It seems impossible.<br /><br />I don't always enjoy a band like this, but well, I'm drinking. It's different from opiates or weed. Of course. Even though opiates are so much better, drinking is pretty addictive too. Alcoholism runs in the family.<br /><br />Who wants to die for love? Die for a meaningless cause, meaningful in that it's more meaningful than meaningless life itself. It sounds immature of me, but I want it. So bad. I don't even know what I'm saying now.<br /><br />What can I say? I am in the brainless mood. I've been SO dumbed down by the drugs that the drugs are the only things keeping my personality in shape. I am not addicted, but I look forward to it. I need new friends. I need a new place. I need something else. I need people who look to the meaning of meaning and existing. I need a philospher, I need a psychologist. I need someone who just sits and sleeps and shoots up and writes, and says, there is a better world. I need something. Else. I need a girl to tell me it's okay. Sssh. I need a touch. I need something that won't judge me. I need to be a child. I need for age to not matter. I need a ephemeral bubble of feeling and ecstasy in understaning.<br /><br />Won't you join me in death? urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:desconectado:5257 2006-06-13T14:41:31Z 2006-06-13T15:36:08Z Kidney Thieves - Serene Dream Not on anything as I update this, for once.<br /><br />There is a female voice that makes me feel like I'm in a forest. It's damp. The light is dim.<br /><br />These things that cannot be illustrated. It can only be reached in that different state. Alone. In the fog, by the tomb. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:desconectado:5047 2006-06-07T19:43:41Z 2006-06-07T19:43:41Z Can't I just have one successful human relationship involving me being beaten to a pulp on a regular basis? urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:desconectado:4803 2006-06-05T23:26:13Z 2006-06-05T23:26:13Z Artist: Lyrics<br />Song: If I Can't Be Yours (Thanatos) Lyrics<br />Now its time, I fear to tell<br />I've been holding it back so long<br />But something strange deep inside of me is happening I feel unlike<br />I've ever felt And its making me scared<br />That I may not be what<br />I (think I am)<br /><br />What of us, what do I say<br />Are we both from a different world<br />Cause every breath that I take,<br />I breathe it for you I couldn't face my life without you<br />And I'm so afraid.<br />There's nothing to comfort us<br />What am I, if I can't be yours<br /><br />I don't sleep, don't feel a thing<br />And my senses have all but gone<br />Can't even cry from the pain, can't shed a tear now I realise<br />We're not the same and it's making me sad<br />Cause we can't fufill our dreams (in the life)<br /><br />So I must, let us break free<br />I can never be what you need<br />If there was a way, through the hurt then<br />I would fint it I'd take the blows.<br />Yes I would fight it but this is the one.<br />Impossible dream to love<br />What am I, if I can't be yours. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:desconectado:4451 2006-05-26T07:03:44Z 2006-05-26T07:03:44Z Happy anarchy is all I really crave. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:desconectado:4143 2006-05-16T19:10:20Z 2006-05-16T19:10:20Z Floating<br /><br />Haunting urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:desconectado:3754 2006-03-10T22:48:18Z 2006-03-10T22:48:18Z Deciding to be social doesn't necessarily mean you'll succeed at communication. I didn't realize how much of a bitch I was. Really. I pretty much feel like scum. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:desconectado:3479 2006-03-02T08:30:34Z 2006-03-02T08:30:34Z SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP.<br /><br />I'm an adult.<br /><br />I can't fucking take this. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:desconectado:3012 2006-02-15T06:11:42Z 2006-02-15T06:11:42Z Life's but a walking shadow, a poor player<br />That struts and frets his hour upon the stage<br />And then is heard no more: it is a tale<br />Told by an idiot, full of sound and fury,<br />Signifying nothing. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:desconectado:2740 2006-01-02T14:22:19Z 2006-01-02T14:22:19Z Greenday - Sassafras Roots Lyrics<br /><br />Roaming 'round your house<br />WASTING YOUR TIME<br />No obligation,just<br />WASTING YOUR TIME<br />So why are you alone?<br />WASTING YOUR TIME<br />When you could be with me<br />WASTING YOUR TIME<br /><br />Well,I'm a WASTE like you<br />With nothing else to do<br />May I WASTE your time too?<br /><br />Warding off regrets<br />WASTING YOUR TIME<br />Smoking cigarettes<br />WASTING YOUR TIME<br />I'm just a PARASITE<br />WASTING YOUR TIME<br />APPLYING myself to<br />WASTING YOUR TIME<br /><br />Well,I'm a WASTE like you<br />With nothing else to do<br />May I WASTE your time too?<br /><br />So why are you alone?<br />WASTING YOUR TIME<br />When you could be with me<br />WASTING YOUR TIME<br /><br />Well,I'm a WASTE like you<br />With nothing else to do<br />May I WASTE your time too?<br /><br />Artist: Ima Robot<br />Song Title: I'M A Bitch For You<br />Album:<br />[B u y " " CD]<br /><br />shut my mind off to the riches of sin<br />i made a decision to make it all go away now<br />i'm a bitch for you<br /><br />shut my door tight to the millions of people<br />that think they know<br />think they know<br />think they know<br />oh no, not them<br />cause i'm a bitch for you<br />oh, oh, oh i'm a bitch for you<br /><br />take me up to the final ground<br />are you willing to please?<br />like a child being bored in a fire storm<br />are you down on your knees?<br />take me up to the final ground<br />are you willing to please?<br />being bored like a child in a fire storm<br />are you down on your knees?<br /><br />take a reminder<br />remember the health<br />of all the things saving me<br />from killing myself<br />it's true, i'm a bitch for you<br /><br />now dont go straight<br />or tell me to turn<br />or lead me to fire<br />and tell me to burn<br />oh, no, no<br />i'm a bitch for you<br />go, go, go<br />i'm a bitch for you<br />down on my knees<br />i'll be a bitch for you<br /><br />take me up to the final ground<br />are you willing to please?<br />like a child being bored in a fire storm<br />i was down on my knees.<br />take me up to the final ground<br />are you willing to please?<br />being bored like a child in a fire storm<br />i was down on my knees.<br /><br />down on your knees.<br />down on your knees.<br />down on your knees.<br />down on your knees.<br /><br />now be a bitch for me<br />down on your knees<br />cause i'm a bitch for you<br />down on mine...<br /><br />take me up to the final ground<br />i am willing to please<br />like a child being bored in a fire storm<br />i was down on my knees<br />take me up to the final ground<br />i am willing to please<br />reborn like a child in a fire storm<br />i was down on my knees<br /><br />down on your knees.<br />down on your knees.<br />down on your knees.<br /><br />your knees.<br />your knees. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:desconectado:2452 2006-01-02T13:36:31Z 2006-01-02T14:02:10Z <a href="http://guru.theotaku.com/view.php?action=retrieve&amp;id=102"><img border="0" src="http://guru.theotaku.com/results/102_polaris.jpg" alt="Quiz Result Provided By: theOtaku.com." /></a><br /><font size="1" face="verdana"><br /><br /><br /><a href="http://guru.theotaku.com/view.php?action=retrieve&amp;id=102">What X-Day Character Are You?</a><br /><br /><br />Hosted by theOtaku.com: <a href="http://www.theotaku.com/"><strong>Anime</strong></a>. Done right.<br /></font><br />Not like me, but she is my favorite character. Well, I suppose I'm like her, but I'm nowhere as cute as her.<br /><br />I understand now, the girl said something like, "It wasn't to kill ourselves, it was to destroy this world."<br /><br />However..<br /><br />Well, anybody who knows, knows. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:desconectado:2178 2006-01-02T12:52:50Z 2006-01-02T13:15:20Z alcohol = feelings.<br /><br />Romance and I are not a very good couple at all. I can't think of a moment where I didn't cringe at the thought of being close to someone. There's a guy who has had a crush on me since we were in middle school, and hasn't given up. However, with the explosion of Myspace, I think it should be easy for him to find himself another girl. Especially with all of those "omgz ur hottsss" comments I'm seeing. And well, he is hot. It's all in the eyes. Now, I don't like him. I have to convince myself of that, because I'm not used to people hitting on me and I'm truly flattered.<br /><br />My biggest problem is insecurity. I don't think I can ever be comfortable sharing my "heart" with someone. I also have some serious gender issues. If I could I'd be a guy. I'm planning on losing weight because I've already been told I look like a 14 year old boy.<br /><br />Be my own dream boy and have my dream girlfriend? I live in a crazy world. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:desconectado:1982 2005-12-29T10:42:07Z 2005-12-29T10:42:07Z Myspace... I was looking at this girl's profile, the only girl I've ever kissed. I never talk to her anymore. It's kind of funny...<br /><br />I was at a party.. I was sitting on the carpet alone; I didn't really want to be there. SOAD started playing, "Chop Suey". I was mouthing along and I noticed her looking at me. Before then she ignored me. The party girl announced that she wanted to walk to the park nearby. Everybody hung around, doing all of those dumb teenager things, and I watched, amused. Then that girl came over to me. "Let's make out," she said. That fucking surprised me. I told her "Okay" and she advanced. I was really scared, honestly.. I've never been serioulsy kissed. I kept making up excuses like my lips were too dry. SHe said that was fine, and kissed me when my eyes were closed. I was pretty pathetic after that, so I don't want to talk about it.<br /><br />It was just a peck, but it felt wonderful.<br /><br />Kisses. Interesting. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:desconectado:1513 2005-12-29T10:02:30Z 2005-12-29T10:02:30Z MM - Coma White Do I feel.. pretty?<br />NOT YET<br />DO I really.. like me?<br />AS IF<br /><br />What am I gonna do with my life?<br />nothing at all, darling, I'm a waster<br />I'm a waster lady, I was dead the day I was born<br />Baby, I was doomed since I was small.<br />I could've sworn, I would've been great<br />O World! I think I live to fall. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:desconectado:1113 2005-12-27T10:16:30Z 2005-12-27T10:16:30Z That's the last of it. The rest of the week's going to suck.<br /><br />To offend anybody who'd actually read this, I tried to masturbate but I was too distracted by the utter sex of NIN to be physically turned on. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:desconectado:934 2005-12-26T06:24:42Z 2005-12-26T06:31:39Z I'm at this page of jokes made by the Columbine shooters, which are quite funny and cute.<br /><br />Who would say that? Even in their own journals? Even in their minds? It's simply inappropriate. God forbid you be thought of as somebody like that. To a smart person this is normal. Those teenagers were normal people, affected however they were by their pasts, and were pushed and pushed throughout. There isn't a justification of anything, just very unfortunate songs, ties in the haphazard web of life.<br /><br />The school shootings really affected me when I was younger, and I grew up completely paranoid in school. I have fantasies considering all ways I could be involved in one. Nightmares. A psychotic moment when I believed my school was being shot up and I called 911. It's like a train wreck stretched across several years.<br /><br />Just thoughts. I had a point going on to begin with, and then the paranoia started working. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:desconectado:468 2005-12-19T04:17:36Z 2005-12-19T04:17:59Z Stomach aches are new. I'm too worried about internal damage to do this.<br />I'm a surface abuser through and through.